Wellspring

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

Testy, Testy, Testy

on January 17, 2013

James1:2-3     2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Testing that produces perseverance sounds like work that pays off.  What does that look like for you? The testing that is.  It’s not just one thing for me.  I have shared many times about being organizationally challenged and making food my golden calf.  Those are my daily workouts.  I see progress just on the horizon.

The enemy likes to shake it up though.  For me it’s not the same thing every day.

I like to think I’m a fairly laid back person.  Big things and most little things don’t ruffle me most of the time……most of the time.  (If I’ve been ruffled with any of you, please forgive me. 🙂 )  But there are times when I feel as if I’m going to lose my little mind that the good Lord gave me and I give in to my fickle feelings.

Monday morning tested me.  Remember it was icy and yucky and really cold.  I knew I’d need to start my van in plenty of time so the ice would melt off the windshield.   You know I’m quite the procrastinator, right?  This morning I knew it would take extra time to ready the van and there was no way I could scrape the windshield so I went out earlier than usual.

When I went out to start it, the doors were frozen shut. All of them.  I used my brute force to open the passenger door.  You probably would have enjoyed watching the show if you could have,  but by golly, I got it done.

We were all ready to go, me to work, the boys to school, and it was none too soon, and the only door that opened was still the passenger side.  My great brain went to work and I decided that I would pour warm water on the doors.  This was not ideal but I needed a quick fix and this seemed to be the way.

Adam and Seth were in the van because they climbed over the seats…..being the resourceful people they are. LOL

Let me back up just a bit. When I went out to start the van, I found I could not get back in the house because the handle to the storm door was frozen.

So back to the story.

As I was going out with the warm water, I told Aaron, “Don’t come outside.  You’ll need to let me back in the house.  The door is frozen and I can’t get back in.”

You know what happened less than 10 seconds later, right?

Bam!  The screen door shut and there stood Aaron.  I was slightly less than pleased.  I sent him around the back.  I told him to go thru the gate and back door to let me in.  In all my wisdom, I left the water on so it would stay hot. I was coming right back in.  AhHem.

So the water was running in my house and my boy was running around it.

I was waiting in front, not so patiently.  When I didn’t see him in what I thought was more than ample time, I started around the back.  What I found were frozen gates.

As Charlie Brown said, “AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!”

He got in, finally.  He let me in, finally.  I was on my way, finally, 10 minutes late.

Aaaarrrrrgggghhh!  My tensions were at peak level.  Or so I thought my tensions were at peak level.

When I pulled out of the driveway and got half way to dropping off my little darlins, I saw that Adam was wearing no more than a pullover.

Really?

His teachers tell me he’s a good student.  He makes good grades but he didn’t put a coat on even though the world was frozen over, literally.  And never mind I said before we walked out the door the first time – “Go get your coats!”

It was at this point that I believe I completely lost control of my emotions.  I said something to the effect of, “What is wroooonnnnggg with yoooouuuuu?  I said get a coat on!  That is not a coat!  I tell Aaron don’t come out the door and he did.  Why is it when I open my mouth, you all shut your ears? Have you decided that whatever it is I’m saying is probably not worth listening to? I assure you IT IS worth listening to!”

Yes, it was pretty close to that.  Poor Seth was thrown under bus as well even though he did nothing.  It was guilt by association. It should be a good lesson for him to be careful of the company he keeps.  Wait – we all live together so he has no choice.  Bless his heart.

I’m pretty sure I threw in another snide comment about starting the day off right.

I considered none of this joy.

As I dropped them off and pulled away, I started feeling guilty about the way I had conducted myself.  Well, I started feeling guilty about 3 1/2 hours later when I finally calmed down from being late to work and getting over my children’s clear lack of listening skills. I’ve spoken with other mothers and they say this is not an unusual phenomenon.  I’m hanging on to that.

It occurred to me, that 3 1/2 hours later, that I had let the situation get the better of me and shown my kiddos that I was ruled by my emotions.

Ugghhh.  They are fickle little things, aren’t they?

So that test didn’t go so well for me.  But, I tried for redemption in the evening when I apologized for my actions.  We talked about things and they saw the error of their ways too – momentary as it may have been.  And I let Seth know I was wrong to include him in the mornings chaos.

Thank you Jesus for forgiveness!  And thank you for my normal, healthy kids. May we all find joy in our trials – big and little.

I will leave you with this.   Enjoy!

Francesca Bastistelli – “This is the Stuff”.

Blessings, Elizabeth

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One response to “Testy, Testy, Testy

  1. Wendy says:

    Even though you told me this – I loved reading it! I, like Carolyn, can hear your voice as I read 🙂 It’s defintely happened to all of us. And, I believe, the entire 6th grade believes that “hoodies” are coats, at least mine does… Love you friend!

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